Tag Archive 'Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life'

Feb 11 2014

Put On Your Big Soul Panties – Issue #107

When I’m upset about something and feel challenged, a higher voice within lovingly says, “Put on your Big Soul panties and deal with it.” Putting on my Big Soul panties means shifting out of the limited view of my little ego self into the expansive perspective of my Big Soul Self, seeing the higher purpose in whatever’s happening, trusting that I’m right where I’m supposed to be and everything is happening for my learning and growth. It means choosing love over hate, faith over fear, and forgiveness over resentment.

The beautiful part is, every time I’ve been challenged and chose to put on my Big Soul panties, there have been amazing outcomes! I believe that when we’re aligned with our highest self, we enter a state of grace where everything we need comes to us and things work out better than we could ever imagine.

A dear friend of mine shared her recent inspiring Big Soul triumph. She and her husband are separating after many years of marriage and they were having a rough time with hurt feelings on both sides. But they chose to shift into their Big Soul Selves and created a healing ritual in which they sat facing each other, with a thin rope tied around them, and for several minutes they looked into each other’s eyes saying the Ho’oponopono forgiveness prayer: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” They kept repeating those words for eight minutes as waves of tears filled their eyes. At the end of that time they both had scissors and cut the rope that bound them and they hugged lightly. Peace and harmony ensued.

We’re all faced with life challenges and we have the choice to dwell in the hell of the Heartbreak Hotel or to dwell in love and healing. Here are the three most significant Big Soul triumphs from my life:

1. THE CHALLENGE: I was a depressed, suicidal teenager, immersed in the belief that I was unloved and unlovable and doomed to a wretched lonely life. I fantasized about suicide the way other girls my age fantasized about boys.

PUTTING ON MY BIG SOUL PANTIES: During that time I prayed for help, and found a book called Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life, which said that our thoughts and beliefs create our reality – we can literally hypnotize ourselves into or out of anything. That electrified me! I could see how my negative thoughts were creating a negative reality and I knew that if I changed my thoughts I could change my life! I was inspired to take on the challenge of transforming my unfriendly world into a friendly one.

THE OUTCOME: My life was ignited with a purpose and passion to learn and grow and heal. My brother reached out to me, inviting me to come to California. I’d once thought my life was over, but now this caterpillar turned into a butterfly and flew across the country from Mystic, Connecticut to beautiful Santa Barbara, California, my new home and a whole new exciting life filled with infinite possibilities!

2. THE CHALLENGE: During my dating days I found myself in relationships with men who were afraid of intimacy and couldn’t commit. I would put on my pity party panties and call my gal pals and we’d commiserate in ‘ain’t it awful’ stories about unavailable men.

PUTTING ON MY BIG SOUL PANTIES: It finally dawned on me that I was the one who picked these unavailable men – I was the common denominator in all my failed relationships. And then it struck me…I was afraid of intimacy! I was afraid of commitment! I picked guys who were unavailable because I was unavailable and protecting my heart at any cost. I’ve heard that the result will always show you your strongest intention – obviously mine was to be alone, because that was the result. I was comfortable being alone. I was safe. I could see now that though these men were not my soul mates, they could be my heal-my-soul mates, mirroring what was unhealed in me so that I could see it and heal it. With my Big Soul panties firmly in place, I was determined to heal my fear of intimacy.

THE OUTCOME: I healed my fear of intimacy! And I found true love! My husband and I have been enjoying a deeply intimate and happy relationship for nearly 15 years! Sometimes we get our panties in a bunch, but then we put on our Big Soul panties (or pants in the case of my hubby) and deal with it, and soon we are once again loving, laughing, and learning in our Big Soul playground.

3. THE CHALLENGE: Four years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. My first reaction was, “Oh crap!” I indulged in a fine whine, “Why me? I’m a vegetarian!”

PUTTING ON MY BIG SOUL PANTIES: I eventually realized it was a major wake-up call, prompting me to examine how I was out of balance, blocked, stagnant, and not fulfilling my higher purpose. I recommitted to living the best life possible, and made holistic lifestyle changes in body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

THE OUTCOME: Cancer was the kick in the panties I needed to raise my game. I’m now catapulted into the present moment, savoring life and loved ones, making healthy choices, and living a purposeful life. These four years since my diagnosis have been the richest years of my life. I am vividly, passionately alive! That is a great outcome!

From the Big Soul perspective, what’s coming up in our lives is coming up to be healed. While my little self moans, “Oh no, not another growth opportunity!”, my big Self exclaims, “Oh yeah, another chance to learn and  grow and heal!” It takes a concerted effort and commitment to shift out of the sticky addictive lower energies of victimhood, resentment, and fear, into the higher energies of love, faith, and forgiveness. But when I do, miracles and magic happens, and I celebrate by doing the happy dance in my resplendent Big Soul panties!

How about you? Are you being challenged right now? Are your panties in a bunch about something? If so, it may be a good time to put on your Big Soul panties and deal with it, and be open to everything working out better than your wildest dreams!

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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Oct 10 2010

The Healing Power of Ikigai – Issue #61

My conscious cancer coach has asked me some very profound questions like: what is keeping you here, what is your passion, what engages you and gives your life purpose? In other words, what is my ikigai?

Ikigai (sounds like icky guy) is a Japanese word that basically means ‘why I wake up in the morning’. It’s what brings meaning and joy to our lives. The reason those questions are so important is because the answers could make a difference between healing or not healing, life or death. Studies have found that people who have discovered their ikigai live longer, happier, healthier lives. Our ikigai could be our children, work, plants or pets — anything that we care for and care about. It’s healing power comes from taking our focus off our problems and instead focusing us on what we love. This turns off destructive stress hormones and activates healing energy.

A good friend recently sent me this sweet letter:

“My cat Merlin, my little furry man, had a cancer tumor taken off last year…the vet didn’t seem optimistic. He lost lots of weight and I was giving up on him. He still had an appetite so I fed him as often as he wanted, tuna, salmon, shrimp…but he still didn’t gain a pound. In the last few months instead of fretting, I just started to enjoy him, take his fleas off twice a day and tell him how beautiful and wonderful he is…he gets on the sink 3 or 4 times a day waiting to be told how wonderful he is and I groom him a little. Its 8 months later and his coat and weight are getting back to normal.”

My friend stopped worrying and just focused on loving and nurturing his cat and it was healing for both of them.

Here are some additional examples of the miraculous healing effects of focusing on what we love:

When Phoebe Snetsinger was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she decided to follow her bliss and travel the world sighting birds. Her cancer went into remission and she lived twenty more years, and set the world’s record for sighting the most bird species ever.

Ten years ago my brother Norm was diagnosed with an inoperable brain aneurysm. He eventually stopped thinking about the time bomb in his head and focused on fulfilling his dream of sailing his boat to the Caribbean Islands and beyond. He was recently told by doctors that the aneurysm had calcified and was no longer a problem.

My acupuncturist told me about a woman he was treating with stage 4 cancer whose doctors could do no more for her and told her to check into hospice. When he asked her if there was something she loved to do, she remembered her love of painting that she’d given up years ago due to a busy life. She took up painting again and her cancer disappeared.

They all focused on what they loved doing and their illness subsided. Our ikigai can heal what ails us, and what ails us can awaken us to our ikigai.

I believe there are possible exit points or step up points in our lives, times when we decide to renew or not renew our contract with life, times we ask ourselves, “Am I having fun? Do I still want to be here? Is there something I’d love to do and am I willing to do it?”

When I was a depressed, suicidal teenager I was faced with these questions. My depression led me to reading metaphysical books like “The Power of Positive Thinking”, “Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life” and “Psycho-Cybernetics”. I became very excited and deeply resonated with what these books were saying – I knew my thoughts and feelings created my reality and I wanted to take on the challenge of transforming my life. This gave me a reason to live – it became my ikigai and fueled amazing transformation and healing over the years.

When I was approaching my 50th birthday I was feeling bored with life and uninspired. I became aware that it was a possible exit point…or step up point. Someone I knew had just died of an illness at age 50 — it seemed that she had given up and was choosing to check out. I thought that maybe my stagnation could lead to something like that happening. I checked in with myself and realized I wasn’t ready to leave this life. I wanted to stick around and face one of my biggest life challenges — creating a conscious, loving relationship. That was my new ikigai. I passionately immersed myself in that pursuit, AND an anything but icky guy showed up…the wondrous Tom!

Now, some ten years later, I am faced with another possible exit point/step up point — within the past two years my appendix ruptured and then cancer came a callin’.  I am seriously addressing the questions my cancer coach posed to me: Do I still want to be here? Is there something I feel passionate about doing? Are there exciting challenges that are engaging me?

The answer is yes. My relationship with my husband Tom continues to be a great joy and something I dearly love. Cancer has refocused me on additional passions and reasons for living, like writing and deeply connecting with my spirit. It has renewed my enthusiasm for metaphysics, exploring how our thoughts and feelings affect our reality, our bodies, and our lives. As I’m working on healing myself I’m highly engaged in reading stimulating books such as Spontaneous Healing of Belief (Gregg Braden) and The Intention Experiment (Lynne McTaggert). Science has now caught up with metaphysics and it’s a very exciting time to be alive.

Gardening is an ikigai for many people and in a sense it is for me as well…I am now passionately focused on gardening my energy field, gardening a higher vibration, gardening the healing energy of love. Like my friend who stopped worrying and simply showered love on his cat, I am loving myself, I am lovingly talking to my body and my ailing parts like they’re my children, telling them how wonderful and beautiful they are. I am loving delicious food and delicious connections with the people in my life. I look forward to waking up in the morning, fully tasting and enjoying life. These are all exciting, worthwhile reasons to be here.

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?” “What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?” “I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.

I believe our Ikigai is a key element in whether we stay or go, whether we kick the bucket or keep filling the bucket. I want to stay — I want to keep filling the bucket!

What’s your ikigai? What are you excited about and motivates you to jump out of bed in the morning? It could be something as simple as breakfast (like Pooh) or something as profound as loving and nurturing yourself as if you were the most precious thing in the world. I wish you buckets full of ikigai!

In love,

Jan Jacobsen

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