Aug 19 2009
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re not alone – the feeling that you’re being watched over and guided? I love that feeling! I just read a book about Spirit Guides, which said that we all have guides who connect with us throughout the day, whispering to us, making suggestions, nudging us. After I read the book, I felt compelled to connect with my guide. I got out my Osho Zen Tarot deck, shuffled it thoroughly, closed my eyes, asked, “Please speak to me,” and randomly picked the card titled “Guidance”! It read, “The angelic figure with rainbow-colored wings on this card represents the guide that each of us carries within…In following the inner guide you will feel more whole, more integrated, as if you are moving outwards from the very center of your being. If you go with it, this beam of light will carry you exactly where you need to go.”
I smiled, feeling reassured…I am not alone. Whatever you choose to call it – higher self, angels, guides, God – I know that there is some higher energy that travels with us through life; we are carrying a precious cargo. When I’m aware of this precious cargo, I hold myself differently – my posture is more uplifted, reaching upward, yet grounded at the same time, like a flower. When I’m not aware of this higher energy, my posture has a tendency to bend forward, as if folding myself up.
I first became aware of my bent posture in the 1966 movie, The Group. I was sixteen at the time it was being filmed, and I was an extra playing a student on the campus of Vassar College in the opening scenes of the movie. Director Sidney Lumet instructed me and another girl to walk past opposite sides of the camera from behind, coming together in front of the camera and walking off into the distance, merging with other students on campus. When I saw the movie I was surprised to see that this shot was the very first scene in the movie. I was also surprised to see myself, blonde braid down my back and wearing a long green skirt appropriate for the 1933 setting, shlumping along like a vertical turtle. It appeared as if I was tucking my head slightly forward and down. If posture could speak, mine would have said, “I’m not sure I want to be here in this body, in this movie, on this planet.”
Over the years, I have committed to being in my body, and to following the directions of my higher self. I have been directed to do yoga, be Rolfed, and get numerous chiropractic adjustments. Yet my body, like memory foam, still tends to fall back into its’ comfortable, familiar shlumping posture, and the beliefs and attitudes that accompany that posture. It is an ongoing learning process, revealing to me that when I change my posture my attitude changes, and when I change my attitude my posture changes. My body and my guides are my learning buddies, letting me know when I have slipped into old unconscious attitudes and holding patterns.
I have witnessed that in addition to turtling inward, my body sometimes has a tendency of hurtling forward, in an urgent hurry to get somewhere other than Here. One day a few years ago I was walking in a parking lot, with lots on my mind, when BAM!, I tripped and slammed down to the ground with great velocity, the fall somewhat broken by my head smashing into a bumper of a parked car on the way down. I sat on the ground stunned, with little birdies and stars circling my battered head. I wondered, “How did that happen?!” I realized that I hadn’t been present in my body, I wasn’t over my feet, I was in my head and my head was ahead of myself – I was ungrounded and the universe obligingly grounded me! I was asleep and the fall woke me up!
I have a deep desire to Wake Up, to be present, to remember who I really am and why I’m really here. When I forget, I am reminded, at first by whispers; but when I don’t listen to the whispers, they become shouts. That fall was a shout, just as cancer has been a shout, saying, “COME INTO YOUR BODY! COMMIT TO BEING HERE! SAVOR THIS MOMENT! TREASURE WHO YOU ARE! HONOR YOUR DEEPEST DREAMS! WAKE UP!”
I am now wide awake! My feet are kissing the ground with each step. Whenever I notice myself turtling or hurtling, I recommit to being fully Here in my body, and make micro movements, lifting my head and ribcage, dropping my shoulders down, creating a posture and attitude that says, “I am carrying precious cargo,” affirming, “I choose to be Here, in this body, in this life, in my movie called Waking Up.”
I went for a walk the other day, and on the walk I imagined that my guide was appreciating me, showering me with love and acknowledgement for my commitment to being in my body, for staying in touch with higher energy, for honoring my body and soul by exercising and eating healthy foods that help me be clear and able to hear the voice of my higher self. As I tune into that voice I realize what it most wants me to know is that not only am I carrying precious cargo, I AM precious cargo, as are we all.
If your posture could talk, what would it say? What are the things your guide loves and appreciates about you? What is your guide directing you to do? Listen to the whispers. We are not alone; we are being watched and guided and loved unconditionally. What a feeling!