Tag Archive 'state of grace'

Aug 27 2012

The Big ‘SEE’: Ten Eye-Opening Lessons Learned From Cancer – #95

My diagnosis of uterine cancer over 3 years ago created an ‘emerge and see’ situation, forcing me to emerge to a higher perspective and see clearly what I needed to do to save and enrich my life. Cancer, like any life calamity, is a wake-up call. It opened my eyes in many profound ways — that’s why I call it The Big See! Here are the top ten things cancer has helped me see more clearly:

1. I see that it’s natural to feel fear about cancer. Cancer is scary. When I try to rise above my feelings, that just positions me better for them to bite me in the butt. Feelings deserve to be heard and honored. Instead of sitting on my feelings, I sit my feelings on my lap like a child and let them speak to me. Once they’re held and heard they start to relax and move through. Emotion is energy in motion.

2. I see that even though my mind always told me that I’m the biggest scaredy cat in the world, what I’ve actually discovered is that I am someone who has the courage to be present with my worst fears, one breath at a time. We have more courage and spirit than we know. When first confronted with adversity, it can seem that life has turned on us; but instead it has turned us ON! It has turned on the big, bright, luminous light of our soul, igniting our courage and strength, inspiring us to put on our big soul panties and deal with it.

3. I see that my experience with cancer has catapulted me into the here and now, helping me to value this moment and cherish life. With time possibly limited, I am motivated to deeply immerse myself in the present moment, savoring it like delicious candy, and to my great delight, time has stretched like taffy into a sweet eternal Nooow!

4. I see that when worries are nipping at my heels, that’s a reminder to take a deep breath, surrender, trust, and ease into that state of grace place where everything works out. Being in a state of grace is being in the flow where synchronicity occurs, coincidences happen, just the right people, books, and events present themselves, and things work out better than I can imagine. It is the realm of unlimited possibilities. It is my “Trust” fund, which I have access to at any time.

5. I see that when our world is blown apart, we are freed from the safety and inertia of the familiar, and are challenged to make changes, take risks, and follow our hearts desire. Cancer has transformed my “someday” dreams into “today is the day, now is the time.” There are many stories of people whose illness has completely healed once they started following their bliss and living a purposeful life.

6. I see that my ego and my soul have very different agendas: my souls passionate agenda is to learn and grow and evolve my consciousness, while my ego’s agenda is to have fun and avoid suffering. When cancer came a calling, my ego wailed in a Mr. Bill whine, “Oh Noooooo. Not another learning opportunity!” My spirit said, “Oh Yeah! Another opportunity to grow! Bring it on!” My ego moaned, “We are in deep doodoo!” My spirit exalted, “Rich compost, yay!” Ego scolded, “Now we’ve gone and done it…our fear has drawn the cancer to us!” Spirit exclaims, “Cool, cancer! It will help us come face to face with fear, feel it fully, and make friends with it!” Ego wants to run for the hills and be safe. Spirit wants to fly like an eagle as high as it can go, fully experiencing life, including fear. In times of crisis our frightened ego may feel like the sky is falling, yet our awakened spirit remembers, “I am the sky.”

7. I see that my thoughts can create heaven or hell, depending on where I’m choosing to dwell. I choose to see that cancer has composted a rich and fertile soil for me, from which is sprouting creativity, inspiration, love, and learning. It’s a fertile time or it’s a shitty time; same substance, different attitude.

8. I see that when I focus on deep breathing it boosts my immune system, activates the lymphatic system, triggers the relaxation response, and energizes and enlivens me. When I’m fully breathing, I’m fully alive. When I’m shallow breathing, I’m shallowly alive. As Elizabeth Barrett Browning said, “He lives most life whoever breathes most air.”

9. I see that as I’m facing my fear of death, I’m embracing it, rather than bracing against it. Leonard Cohen wrote, “If you don’t become the ocean you’ll be seasick every day.” When I come into harmony with all that floats and flounders about in my ocean, I am at peace. AND, since what you resist persists, maybe now that I’m no longer resisting death, it won’t be persisting!

10. I see that Love is the answer – loving my family and friends, loving what is, loving all my feelings about what is, loving myself for not loving what is. It’s all about love. The energy of love is tremendously healing, it boosts the immune system, and it just plain feels good. The word ‘heal’ literally means ‘to become whole’. As I love every part of me, including cancer, I become whole.

For me, cancer created a rebirth that’s grabbed me by the ankles, turned me upside down, and spanked me vividly alive! I’m seeing the world through brand new baby eyes. Cancer has been an illuminating, eye-opening, I-opening Big See!

How about you – in what ways have your life calamities opened your eyes and enriched your life?

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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Aug 03 2010

State of Grace Place – Issue #56

I’ve been hanging out in a state of grace place. It’s the expanded energy field, the natural order of harmony and wholeness. It’s a place you go to when you pray, when you connect with your higher power and ask for divine intervention.

It is a transcendent place beyond mind, beyond reason, beyond physical, beyond what most doctors will tell you is possible. My doctor told me last week that though my tumor has been reduced in size, it will start growing again because that’s what tumors do — end of story. But in the state of grace place it’s not the end of the story. Miracles happen there. Healing happens there.

Dr. Leonard Laskow performed some fascinating experiments with cancer cells in petri dishes in which he held an intention as he focused on each dish. The intention that had the most success in stopping the growth of the cancer cells by 39% was when he affirmed and imagined, “The natural order is being reinstated and the cells growth is returning to normal.” I am motivated to focus on and cultivate that state of natural order and harmony, not only because I want to heal, but also because it feels good – it is a peaceful, magical place.

Being in a state of grace is being in the flow where synchronicity occurs, coincidences happen, just the right people, books, and events present themselves, and things work out better than I can imagine. It is the realm of unlimited possibilities — I also call it the Miracle-Prone Zone. I was recently stuck in the Moan and Groan Zone, feeling ravaged by the grueling chemo and radiation treatment. I realized that Cynny, my inner cynical one, was feeling burned out and pissy and she was holding me down. She was cynical about taking healthful actions — after all, she groused, they didn’t work before. But underneath the cynicism was a fear that if I tried and failed to heal myself I would be crushed in disappointment. I realized that I needed help.

As I cultivated the state of grace place, I was ‘led’ to a coach who has guided people for 20 years on conscious cancer journeys. My commitment to working with her helped get me back to a healing intention of eating healthy foods, taking supplements and, most important, shifting my attitude and letting myself believe that I could heal myself.

Next, in the flow of synchronicity, a friend sent me a link about antiangiogenesis foods that actually starve tumors, either causing them to shrink or halting further growth by eliminating their blood supply. I am now eating those foods abundantly with a new sense of hope and possibility. (See list at end of newsletter – great cancer preventative foods and also good for weight loss!)

This exciting grace place where anything is possible is where I want to live. However, though this place is becoming home base, I’m not always here. I take occasional forays to the rat race place where I’m scared, scrambling and frantic. The other day hundreds of ants had gathered in and around our cat’s food dish and I set about attacking the ants with the fervor of a mass murderer! It reminded me of the fear frenzy I sometimes feel towards the cancer. But when I notice I’m not breathing and my shoulders are hunched and my stomach is tight and it’s me against THEM, I take a deep breath and return to my home base state of grace, where natural order and peace are reinstated. (The ants have not returned).

Taking deep, slow breaths is one of the ways to enter a state of grace. Other ways are meditation, reading inspirational books, doing qigong, dancing, being with spiritual people, lying and aligning with my husband Tom as we breath together and reveal ourselves in the deep intimacy of ‘lying and truthing’, dropping into stillness and silence, being immersed in the present moment, walking in nature (a natural tuning fork for raising your vibration), and smiling (Starting My Internal Love Engine).

I am a gardener gardening my energy field, choosing to dwell in a state of grace. It’s the place to be. It feels like Home. From all that I’ve heard about death, it is the ultimate state of grace place. If I’m going Home soon, I’m getting a good taste of it (and for it) right now as I nestle into the welcoming embrace of grace. It’s possible that I may not be cured, but I will be healed and made whole. Of that I am certain.

What are ways you enter your state of grace place? I am wishing for all of you (and me) the magic and miracles that take place when we rest in the  loving embrace of grace.

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

ANTIANGIOGENESIS FOODS

(THAT INHIBIT TUMOR GROWTH AND FAT GROWTH)

Green Tea

Strawberries

Blackberries

Raspberries

Blueberries

Oranges

Grapefruit

Lemons

Apples

Pineapple

Cherries

Red Grapes

Red Wine

Bok Choy

Kale

Soybeans

Ginseng

Maitake Mushroom

Licorice

Turmeric

Nutmeg

Artichokes

Lavender

Pumpkin

Sea Cucumber

Tuna

Parsley

Garlic

Tomato

Olive Oil

Grape seed Oil

Dark Chocolate

Pomegranate

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Apr 04 2010

Getting to the Miracle-Prone Zone – Issue #48

Because of my health crisis I am experiencing accelerated growth, emotionally, spiritually, in my relationship with Tom – and, unfortunately, in my tumor. My little bundle of growth (opportunity) is literally a pressing issue, and despite my onslaught of alternative healing modalities, the tumor is aggressive and requiring immediate and much stronger action.

I saw a radiologist last week and he wants to begin treatment right away. Tom and I pressed him to give us a ballpark percentage of the cure rate and he reluctantly said it was about 20%. That’s not good. He said chemo would probably add another 20% chance. Ouch. (Surgery is not an option because of its difficult location).

My mind took those figures in and deduced, “I’m toast. This is a crapshoot. It’s a long shot. Why go through all that misery and have it not even work?” My breath was sucked out of me and I became engulfed in a crushing anxiety of such magnitude that I hoped to be zapped by lightening or a heart attack right then and there. Panic screamed, “Get me out of here! Put me out of my misery!”

This was my mind run amuck, which can be a very dangerous thing. The mind, seeing dire possibilities, concentrates on that outcome to the exclusion of any other outcome, and through the power of that focus brings about that outcome. A voice within urgently said, “You are in danger girl! Get yo butt to the miracle-prone zone!”

That is the place beyond mind, it is meta-mind -– it is beyond physical, it is metaphysical. It is a magical place where anything is possible, where miracles happen. It is that faith-fueled state of grace where everything we need flows to us easefully, where a flourish of ‘coincidences’ occur and things turn out better than our limited minds could ever imagine.

How do I get to that magical realm? How do I become miracle prone? The old song comes to mind, “It’s so high, we can’t get over it, it’s so low, we can’t get under it, it’s so wide, we can’t go around it, we gotta go through the door.” Going through the door means opening to facing and feeling my feelings fully, letting the river of tears flow and flow and flow. Once spent, I take a big breath of acceptance, “Here I am, this is what’s happening. Now…here…this.”

Feeling and breathing is ventilating the situation, bringing oxygen and light to it, which eventually allows a stillness where healing love and energy can fill and surround me. Being porous to that energy carries me to the spacious field of the miracle prone zone. Being in the energy of “poor us” keeps me closed off from that powerful healing energy field –- therefore, moment to moment, I have a choice to become expanded and porous or stay contracted and stuck in “poor us.”

In my research I’ve found there is compelling evidence that cancer growth is triggered by lack of oxygen to the cells. Fear and anxiety exist in shallow breath and create a fertile environment for cancer to grow. The energy of faith and trust stimulate slow, deep, easy breaths, creating an atmosphere for healing and miracles.

A friend of mine recently showed me her impression of the Arabian stallions she saw recently. They are very spirited, with their heads held high, tossing their manes grandly and strutting their magnificent stuff with great panache. When I am aware of myself moving in a way that is trudging along, in an energy of “poor, poor pitiful me,” like an old grey mare, I remember my friend’s impression and I change my stance and I start to prance and dance like an Arabian stallion, tossing my mane, feeling my supreme value. By doing that I change my biology, I stimulate life-enhancing energies within me, and I project that out to others and they reflect that back to me. I prance my way right out of the “poor me, moan and groan zone” and into the miracle-prone zone.

Another powerful way to become miracle prone is to come purely, wholly, completely into this…eternal…now…moment. Time magically expands in the eternal now and we are freed from the confines of time. Tom and I have been meeting eyes, drinking in each other and the moment, breathing in, breathing out. Now. Now. Now. All time is Now. In this spacious present there is plenty of time. Abundant time. Right now I am here. Right now I am alive. Right now I am breathing fully. Right now life is beautiful.

I have been anchoring my awareness in the realm of miracles by making note of the ‘coincidences’ that have come from being in the flow. Like the woman administering my PET CT Scan who was named Janet Lee, just like me. She had a healing, loving presence that helped de-traumatize my experience of medical care. I also consulted with an elderly colonics healer named Alice, my mother’s name. My mother installed in me the ISH issue (shaming my elimination functions, which might be contributing to my blockage). This Alice, who even looked a little like my mother, was someone who celebrated and encouraged elimination, helping me to heal my ISHsues.

I am focusing on the miracles that have happened in the last year and a half, reminding my skeptical mind of the unlimited possibilities that have come my way. My appendix burst and was necrotic and gangrenous, the worst my doctor had even seen, and I survived! That is a miracle! Houdini died of a burst appendix – that great escape artist could not escape that fate. But the great Jandini did! And miraculously, most of my medical bills were handled by a financial assistance program (I have no insurance). The same thing happened for my hysterectomy a few months after that. I call that ‘mira-cal’ health insurance, and feel very blessed.

I have been immersing myself in the Seth books, which remind me that right NOW is the point of power, anything we have set in motion with our thoughts and beliefs can be changed in this NOW point of power. I have discovered to my surprise that there are Seth books I wasn’t previously aware of called “The Magical Approach” and also “The Way Toward Health” — both are about how to enter the metaphysical field of unlimited healing possibilities. I’m reading those books now, and in them Seth is advising Jane Roberts (who channeled Seth) on how to deal with her life threatening health problems. I have my handwritten letter from Jane Roberts on my bed stand, reminding me of our vast powers and possibilities.

I also look at my cat Zeena and am reminded of the death sentence she received from the vet — yet Zeena lives! A miracle! I loved her back to life.

Then of course, there is the wondrous Tom – the greatest miracle of my life. I was hardwired to live my life alone, but through the power of intention and getting myself into the miracle-prone zone, Tom came into my life and we continue to thrive in a beautiful, loving, learning, fun, playful, spiritual partnership that just keeps getting better and better.

I believe in miracles. Miracles do happen. That is the energy field I want to continue cultivating and living in. I know that I am healing the emotional blockage this tumor represents. Whether my body goes along with this emotional healing, I don’t know. That’s out of my hands. I will do all that I can do and rest in the spacious field of the miracle-prone zone. I would consider the healing of my emotional blockages in this lifetime a major miracle. I believe that chemo and radiation may be the next adventure, the next growth opportunity to heal my fears and beliefs, and hopefully, it will yield the next miracle.

Are you ready for a miracle in your life? Then get yo butt to the miracle- prone zone and be ready for surprises!

In Love,
Jan Jacobsen

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