Tag Archive 'shift happens'

May 07 2013

I’m Still Here! Issue #101

It’s hard to believe it was 3 years ago this month that I began chemo and radiation treatment for recurrent uterine cancer. After completing the 6 weeks of daily radiation and weekly chemotherapy, the doctor gave me a poor prognosis, but…I’M STILL HERE! Alive and kicking! Feeling pretty darn good! Back then I didn’t know if I should make my 6 months dental cleaning appointment, or buy new clothes or green bananas. Now I have a closet full of new clothes, a mouth full of clean teeth, and a kitchen full of green bananas.

My favorite quote is: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.” We never know what’s going to happen. Things can seem bleak but somehow turn out better than we can imagine. What looked like the end of the world to me was the beginning of a more vibrant, purposeful life.

In the four years since I was first diagnosed, I have nestled more fully into the present moment. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know what the present holds: it holds ME, in a cushy, cozy, comforting embrace. I’m all right right now and right now is all there is. Admittedly, there are times when I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, but most of the time I’m kicking up my heels doing the happy dance and enjoying life. It’s all gravy. Some days I don’t even think about cancer at all.

One thing I’m doing the happy dance about is writing. Even though my newsletters have been fewer and farther between, I’m still writing, but in a different form. If you’re on Facebook you may have seen my daily posting of my sayings with my watercolor backgrounds (one saying per day). I feel like a child at play with colorful words and it is deeply satisfying that these words may be of service to someone.

I used to live a block away from Ashleigh Brilliant, the epigram author, and I’d see him walking around the ‘hood deep in thought contemplating new epigram sayings. I thought, “What a great life that must be!” Now I’m doing it! And it IS a great life! (I love how seeds planted long ago have a way of sprouting up unexpectedly years later.)

An added bonus for me is that sending these writings out into the world sometimes triggers my “Who do you think you are” critic; this is perfect because I get to do some inner healing work around that. Oh boy, another growth opportunity! I remember a cartoon where Dennis the Menace is being punished, sitting in the corner facing the wall, and the caption reads, “I’m Dennis, that’s who I am, that’s what I should have said!” When my critic scolds, “Who do you think you are”, my soul chimes in, “Who do you KNOW you are?” I am a soul at play, learning and growing and sharing what I’m learning with others, having great fun one day at a time.

So, if things are looking gloomy and life is giving you a poor prognosis, hang in there! I am living proof that shift happens, even better than we can imagine!

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

P.S.

If anyone would like to receive my sayings, you can reply to this email with “Yes” in the subject line (or email me at enlightenink@gmail.com) and I’ll put you on the list. I’m calling these brief sayings Enlighten-Inklings. They will be sent via email Monday thru Friday,

Or you can see them at my website on the Enlighten-Inklings page.

Or if you’re on Facebook you can check them out there. If you’re not already a FB friend, you can find me under Janet Lee Jacobsen. You can access all the sayings I’ve posted so far by going to my FB page, click on Photos, then click Albums, then click Timeline Photos.  And I’d love it if you ‘friend’ me :o )

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Mar 21 2011

“Pronoia – The Suspicion the Universe is a Conspiracy on Your Behalf” – #69

This is one freakin’ scary, exciting, dramatic, shaking, shift-inducing ride we are all on together on planet earth! In light of the recent disaster in Japan, and the continuing possible peril from a nuclear meltdown, it brings up the question: Is the universe friendly or is it fiendish? I vote for friendly, because while many of us when faced with our vulnerability on this precarious planet are scared to death, many more are scared to life! We are shakened and awakened and motivated to turn to the only thing that has permanence – the ultimate safety of an eternal, all-loving, omnipotent higher power.

That has been my experience with my own inner earthquake/bodyquake called cancer. It’s caused me to feel, as writer John Perry Barlow wrote, “Pronoia – the suspicion that the Universe is a conspiracy on your behalf.” I have come to believe that ALL of life is benevolently designed to wake us up to love, to our true self and our higher purpose. Rob Brezsny writes in his book Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia, “No matter how upside down it all may appear, we will have no fear, because we know this big secret: All of creation is conspiring to shower us with blessings. Life is crazily in love with us – brazenly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.”

Be it earthquakes or cancer or any of the innumerable catastrophes that can befall vulnerable humans, when shit happens it spurs shift to happen and turns it into gold. The entire planet literally shifted on its axis from this powerful 9.0 quake…and many people have shifted as a result into more love, compassion, empathy, generosity, purposefulness, presence and the awareness that we are all connected.

Some of the exquisite beauty that has arisen from this terrible tragedy is evidenced in many of the heart-warming, soul-stirring stories being reported. For example:

A news crew shot footage of two muddy, disheveled dogs in the middle of scattered rubble. One dog was anxiously hovering over the other dog who was lying beside him, immobile. The anxious dog moved towards the camera crew and then back to his stricken buddy. He sat close beside him, putting his paw on his pals head, as if to say, “Please help my friend.” Both dogs were rescued and are doing well.

There’s an amazing story about an 83-year-old woman outrunning the tsunami on her bicycle! And there’s the miracle of a four-month-old baby girl who was found buried in rubble for three days after having been swept from her parents arms when the terrible wave hit their home. She was reunited with her overjoyed parents unharmed. No one knows how it was she didn’t drown.

More gold from this tragedy is the outpouring of love and compassion from all over the world. Even China, a long-time adversary of Japan, has reached out with rescue teams and millions of dollars in aid. Studies have found that such acts of compassion benefit the receiver AND the giver – for all involved it creates feel-good oxytocin, stimulates the immune system, and enhances feelings of serenity and fellowship. Compassion raises our vibration to a higher part of ourselves.

Another inspiring story is of the workers who are staying behind at the nuclear plant to try and avert a meltdown. They are true heroes, putting the good of others ahead of themselves. And it’s possible that on the soul level the courageous people of Japan who lost loved ones or their own lives may have volunteered for this great mission, a mega heroes journey, helping to catalyze immense compassion in the world, reminding us all of the fragility and impermanence of earth and body and the all-embracing permanence of spirit, as well as reminding us to cherish our life and those we love.

When I first learned that my cancer had returned and my chances of survival were slim and that most probably great pain and suffering was ahead, there were times when I just wanted to check out of Hotel Earth. “Get me out of here!” I hoped that a bolt of lightening or a heart attack would strike and spare me from the ordeal ahead. I wanted to bypass the terrible fear, pain and suffering. But instead I turned towards spirit and asked for help and guidance and it came. Fear became faith, paranoia became pronoia, and I was led to finding precious gold amidst the rubble.

In times of crisis our frightened ego may feel like the sky is falling, yet our awakened spirit remembers, “I am the sky.” When it seems that life has turned on us, it has instead turned us ON, turning up the volume of spirit, light, love, and aliveness. Life can seem like a terrible trial, but if you move the ‘I’ forward in the word trial it becomes ‘trail’, a trail that leads us Home, to love, to Spirit – all part of the divine plan of a friendly universe that wants only to awaken us.

How about you? Is your universe friendly or fiendish, pronoiac or paranoiac? Do you have any personal disasters shaking your world right now? From my perspective it’s just the universe shaking and waking you to your magnificent Big Soul Self.  “All of creation is conspiring to shower you with blessings” no matter how it may appear.

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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