Jul 03 2009
I’ve been immersing myself this week in news about Michael Jackson, planting myself like a vegetable in front of the television and the computer, reading about and relating to his anxiety and insomnia, and the drugs he used to relieve them. My 3-month checkup at the cancer center is due, and I’ve been feeling anxious, unable to sleep and have been “drugging” myself with television and the Michael Jackson drama. The immersion distracts and disconnects me from my fear, but it also disconnects me from my spirit. The voice of my higher self, growing ever fainter in the distance, is saying, “Move your body. Take a walk.” I move my body over to the couch, pick up the remote control and search for more MJ news.
I can see how being stuck in the contracted energy of fear has kept me from doing my daily disciplines of dancing and walking, actions which help me connect with my spirit. It’s like when we lose connection on our cell phone – in order to reestablish connection we need to keep moving to another position, asking, “Can you hear me now?” until the reception is clear. I have lost clear connection with my spirit, but my spirit hasn’t moved out of range of reception – I have, by numbing my fear with hours of escapist drama.
I’m aware that whenever I feel occasional twinges of pain, fear is activated and my worried mind asks, “What is that? Is it cancer?” Fear is like a barking dog, barking at the slightest noise. The barking is now waking me up, reminding me that I have moved out of range of my higher voice – reminding me that it’s time to take my inner barking dog for a walk in nature and get reconnected to my spirit – taking my God for a walk. When I change my position and move my body, I get unstuck and can then hear the voice of my higher self, reminding me, “You are safe. You are so much more than a body, so much vaster than your fear.” That helps put the fear into perspective – it’s just a little bitty scared dog nipping at my heels.
Anticipating my checkup, I literally shake my body like a dog shakes water from its fur. Shaking helps release the grip of fear. As I nervously sat on the exam table waiting for the doctor to come in, I acknowledged to myself, “I feel scared.” That always invites a big spacious breath. Then I affirmed, “I am so much more than a body.” I imagined the vastness of my spirit inside and all around me, and I calmed down. When the doctor examined me and said, “You’re fine. I’ll see you in 3 months,” I was tail-waggin’ happy!
Deepak Chopra said that when his friend Michael Jackson danced on stage, “It was there that he was no longer a person in emotional distress, but instead someone dancing in the world of the spirits.” Dancing, shimmying, shaking, moving our bodies helps loosen the grip of fear and allows us to reconnect with our spirit.
Fear is a great motivator – it is designed to be compelling in order to get us to take survival action in the form of fight or flight or freeze…or take ‘thrival’ action by facing into the fear, feeling it fully, and therefore freeing ourselves from it. I have felt compelled this week to face my fear, feel it, and free my body to move into a place where the reception is strong and clear. My higher self asks, “Can you hear me now?” “Yes, I can hear you now.”
What is your current response to fear? How do you connect with your spirit? Is the reception clear? Is it time for some movin’ and groovin’ to the tune of your higher self?