Tag Archive 'mirror-cle'

Dec 19 2009

Mirror-cle at the Button Factory – Issue #36

I imagine that many of you will be going home to spend time with your family during the holidays. For some of you that will be bliss, for others, not so much. My father died when I was 17 and my mother passed away a few years ago, but every year prior to that my sister and I and her children would go back to our childhood home in Mystic, Conn. and stay with my mother and brother for a week. I thought of it as going back to the button factory because that’s where all the buttons were installed.

It was my yearly exam where I’d get to put to use all my latest self-help tools. Ram Dass has said that if you think you’re enlightened, just go spend a week with your parents. Nevertheless, I’d always have high hopes and would be well-armed with my latest personal growth books, my meditation tapes, and an “I can do this” attitude. Things would go really well…for the first hour or two, sometimes even a day or two. But then sure enough my mom would criticize or hover and my buttons would be activated, and I’d be lost in the button factory.

One time during one of these visits I awoke in the middle of the night feeling distressed and I had an epiphany. I imagined my family asleep in their rooms and in the quiet space of the night I saw my mother’s critical nature that I judged, and I realized that I have a critical nature. I thought about my brother and how easily offended he was and thought, oh, I am easily offended. I took a good look at my sister’s people pleaser and realized, I’m a people pleaser at times. Everything I judged in them was in me. I had been judging in them what I hadn’t wanted to face in myself. It wasn’t just an intellectual awareness of it, it was a full body, full spirit experience of our interconnectedness. Instead of seeing me versus them, I was seeing me as them, and them as me. I experienced that we were part of the same whole, that we were one. I had to smile to myself when I really got that they were my mirrors. It was a mirror-cle moment.

I realized that the real test isn’t about seeing how long I can go without my buttons being pushed — the real test is being able to face and embrace all of my disowned, projected selves. It’s not about becoming perfect, it’s about becoming whole by loving and accepting all the many me’s that life is reflecting back to me, the meany me’s, the moody me’s, the messy me’s, and even the mighty me’s.

Sometimes in the early morning I’ll look over at my sleeping husband Tom and I’ll think to myself, “Wow, if everyone in my life is my mirror, then Tom is my mirror and I think Tom is wonderful, I think Tom is a beautiful soul. I see the beautiful soul in my family members as well. Since they are my mirrors, I must be a beautiful soul too. To be able to face and embrace THAT is truly the biggest mirror-cle of all.

Do you have beautiful souls in your life? That’s because you are one! Mirrors mirrors all around, reflections of your Self abound!

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

 

 

MIRROR-CLE AT THE BUTTON FACTORY

I’m visiting my family, the button factory it’s called

because that’s where all of my buttons were installed.

My Mom’s buttin’ in and I feel appalled.

I’m buttoning my lip and try to hide that I’m galled.

 

My brother is so sensitive, so easily offended.

I tiptoe through the minefield, afraid I’ll be upended.

My sister is obsequious, and smiles through gritted teeth,

Hiding all her real feelings that lie underneath.

 

I’m trying to avoid my buttons being pushed.

I’m wrestling with my feelings and I am bushed.

I’m barely succeeding in holding my tongue,

when snap! I finally lose it and come all undone!

 

That shakes me awake and I begin to see

that everything I judge in them is also in me!

The button factory is like a house of mirrors

reflecting back to me all my disowned terrors.

 

As I face and embrace each rejected part

I experience my family with more love and heart.

I can see that we are parts of the same whole.

I can feel that we’re connected, that we are one soul.

 

Now the years have passed, and so has my mom

I miss the button factory, my childhood home.

But the buttons are still in me, letting me know

I need to love all parts of me, and let my judgments go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sep 24 2009

Cosmic Joke – Issue #27

“Blessed our we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.” Last Saturday I saw Swami Beyondananda, the Cosmic Comic, in person, and he told us, “Imagine that the creator is watching the comedy channel, and We are what’s on.” Laughter is a wonderful thing. It is healing and heart opening, it lowers our blood pressure and raises our spirits. Like some of you, I was brought up in a family where feelings of anger, fear and sadness were not welcomed.  However, those feelings found an outlet through the one and only accepted form of expression in my house…laughter. As a result, I developed a sharp wit and became…a serial kidder!

Voltaire said, “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.” The world can be an intense place, and it is easy to get seriously caught up in the drama of our lives. There’s a story about a woman who had a recurring dream where a monster was chasing her and she would frantically run away from it, in a state of absolute terror.  One night she was barely managing to stay ahead of the monster, when BAM!  She hits a wall and there was nowhere to go. The monster caught up to her and the woman cried out, “Oh no, what am I going to do?!” The monster looked at her and said, “I don’t know lady, it’s YOUR dream.” 

Our life is OUR dream. As our consciousness is evolving, more and more people are waking up to the awareness that we are all interconnected, and life is a one big mirror, reflecting back to us our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. God is now playing to an audience that’s beginning to get the joke!  It’s a Mirror-cle!

I’ve been amusing myself with this thought — what if we get to heaven and there’s a letter from God that says:

“Welcome Dear One,

I’m glad you made it! So, did you get the cosmic joke?  Did you figure out that everyone in your life was YOU, especially those who pushed your buttons?  When you tried to convince the critical people in your life of your value, that was the critical You that you were trying to convince.  When you thought that people in your life were judging, rejecting, or neglecting you, that was You doing that to you. Everyone in your life was mirroring you. Every time you thought you got rid of an irritating person from your life, they’d just show up again in another body, because that was You you were trying to escape, and wherever you go, there You are.

There were lots of clues about the many you’s, such as your term for your world — Universe, get it?…YOUniverse. There were also clues in the Bible, like, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Because they ARE you); and from the Talmud, “We do not see things as they are, we see them as WE are”.  The whole dream thing was a big clue too, where everyone in your dream is an aspect of yourself. Just like in a dream, everyone in your life is an aspect of You.

Did you figure out that the best way to deal with this cosmic joke was first to lighten up and have a sense of YOUmor? Then FACE the you’s that were showing up in your life, in the form of other people, and get curious, “Oh, you’re my mirror.  What is it I haven’t wanted to see?”  Then be WILLING to really see what the YOUniverse is reflecting back to you, take a big breath and let it in, accept it.  And then, here’s the really funny part…LOVE what it is that you’re seeing. Love what it is in others that you’ve been judging and rejecting. Love what it is you’ve been trying to get rid of and get away from. That’s when you become One with the YOUniverse. Love is the great YOUnifier.

Life is a funny, funny riddle. LOVE is the answer.  I hope you had fun with it all.”

Love,

God (who, by the way, is also YOU)

How about You? Is there something serious in Your life that you need to laugh at? As Swami Beyondananda says, “Laughter causes our blood vessels to dilate, which is a lot better than having them die early!” Here’s to learning, laughing, and loving what is!

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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Jun 24 2009

Mirror-cle at the Grand Canyon – Issue #17

Tom and I spent last weekend at a family reunion with my mother’s side of the family at the Grand Canyon. There were 31 of us, many I had never met before, converging from all parts of the world. We traveled together in our own private rail car on a 2-hour train ride from Williams, Arizona to the Grand Canyon. At first I felt nervous and shy and apart from everyone. Eventually as I looked at them and saw familiar features, the same mouths, similar eyes looking back at me, I remembered that we are all a part of each other, and I began to relax and enjoy the journey.

My mother died 3 years ago but I could imagine her traveling with us, reveling in this family gathering. I was also aware of her within me when a singing cowboy moseyed onto our train car, and I began to sing along with him. When I was a child, my mother would do something like that, and I’d be so embarrassed. I also experienced my mother in me when some personas that we had in common, Miss Bossy Pants and Nervous Nell, showed up the day before on the 9-hour car drive with Tom to Arizona – and The Incredible Sulk was about to make an appearance later in the day. On my refrigerator I have a magnet with a picture of a woman from the 1950’s and she’s wearing a little kerchief, a pretty pink sweater, and red lipstick and the caption reads, “Despite years of personal development, she still turned into her mother.”

Yup, it’s true. What I’ve discovered is that everything I ever judged about my mother and everyone else in my family (and in my life) is in me. That’s the interesting thing about self-awareness; it’s like turning on a light in the attic and seeing all the cobwebs and creepy crawlies very clearly and seeing that they are mine. Everything I’ve been judging and projecting onto others is in me. Life is a mirror -  becoming aware of that is what I call a mirror-cle.

Despite my many years of personal growth, I still get stuck – I get carried away on a run-away train of thought, hijacked by my defensive reactions. The big difference now is that mindfulness, my compassionate witness, observes it all and sees how my stuckness originates within me. Standing above the Grand Canyon and observing the twists and turns below, is similar to mindfulness, observing the twists and turns of thoughts and feelings within. It’s pretty much a given that defenses will be activated occasionally, especially in times of stress.

When we arrived at the Grand Canyon I asked Tom to hold my purse, with my jacket draped over it, while I was getting my picture taken with my cousins. My sister Carol saw this and thought, “Isn’t that nice. He’s holding her purse and jacket for her.” Tom has what he calls a Mr. Wonderful persona. When I went to get my purse back from him, my jacket was gone. “Where’s my jacket?” I asked him. “What jacket?” he asked, oblivious to it’s having been draped over the purse. He had lost my jacket! Tom also has a self-acknowledged Mr. Blunderful persona, who, to his dismay, often follows close on the heels of Mr. Wonderful.

I could feel my adrenaline hornets start to swarm as I descended into an emotional ravine, and began turning into the Incredible Sulk. “He lost my favorite jacket!” As I stood at the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking out over the panoramic view, I could clearly see the overview of my inner descent. My internal witness took it all in – the buzzing adrenaline hornets, the huffy wet hen thoughts, the Incredible Sulk, the powerful pull of this physical/emotional hijacking; and in that moment I felt compassion and understanding for myself, for my mother, for all of us who get stuck in our defensive reactions. Like gravity, they are an extremely compelling force. From atop the Grand Canyon I viewed this all unfolding within me…then I took a deep breath, smiled, and took Tom’s hand as we walked along the edge of this vast overview, consciously making the choice to shift from my snitness to my witness. Now that’s a miracle! (p.s. The jacket eventually was found!)

When I feel apart from others, I am learning to remember that I am a part of them and they are a part of me – we are all connected, we are all on a journey together, at a family re-union, here to witness the grand overview, seeing how it all fits together, seeing how we all fit together, and discovering that life is one big mirror-cle.

I’ve written a poem about this:

REFLECTIONS OF ONE

What I think are enemies

are really just the many me’s

projected out identities

for me to see and love.

Some will shout obscenities,

some without amenities,

all seem to be them, not me,

yet all are mine to love.

Mirrors, mirrors all around, 

reflections of myself abound.

What most wants to be loved is found

in what I judge in you.

Loving is the alchemy

that transforms you and me to we,

the mirror-cle that helps me see,

that we are really One.


What is your life reflecting back to you? What is showing up to be faced and embraced? Are you ready for a mirror-cle? 

 In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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