Tag Archive 'laughter'

Feb 04 2010

Fantasically Fun Relationship Rescue Remedy – Issue #41

My husband Tom and I have been getting high on some really potent stuff and I want to share some with you. The great thing about it is it’s free, readily available and has no bad side effects. What is this great stuff? It’s laughter. We laugh on purpose like crazy and before we know it we’re loaded…with endorphins. Endorphins are natural pain and stress relievers that create a feeling of well-being and even euphoria. It works whether the laugh is real or simulated. Want to get high together right now? Let’s cook up some endorphins in our body lab and laugh together for a few seconds and fake it til we make it.

How do you feel? You have just produced some powerful juju in your body. Besides decreasing stress and increasing bliss, you have lowered your blood pressure, activated your immune system, oxygenated yourself, and, if you’re laughing with others, created social bonding. Laughter is a strong stimulant for social bonding. Infants laugh at an early age as a way to bond and connect with their caregivers. For the same reason, most of our laughter occurs when we are with other people.

I want to share some ways you can use the power of laughter to create joyful relationships. People in happy relationships laugh often. But relationships, as you know, are not always a laughing matter. We can get stuck in our position and our playmate becomes our stale mate. Our bodies literally become frozen in the position of our position, such as, arms folded, shoulders hunched, scowl on our face – we are in lock and load mode, ready to fire, or we are locked down and glued shut. Play and laughter are powerful solvents that dissolve the glue and shift us back into closeness and feeling good.

One of the best ways I’ve found to shift quickly is to go playfully non-verbal. As adults we have well-developed minds that, like supercharged attorneys, can build strong cases for our position and keep us stuck in it – we become encased in the cases we build. Going non-verbal quiets our well-meaning but troublemaking mind and helps turn a battleground into a playground. Let me give you some examples.

Tom and I first met ten years ago at Gay and Katie Hendricks’ relationship workshop where they emphasized play as a way to shift. During the breaks Tom and I danced together and made faces at each other for the fun of it. Tom is a master of making faces. I thought, here is someone I can really play with. As our relationship progressed we added growling to the mix. Whenever we felt anger coming up we would growl. Grrrrrrr. It expressed our feelings, and it kept the anger from taking hold, and laughter would always follow. To this day we still make faces and growl to lighten the mood.

Here’s another example: Recently we were driving on the highway and Tom accelerated as the car ahead of us was braking. I was scared and yelled, “Slow down, you’re too close to that car!” I could feel my adrenaline pumping and I felt angry. Right then I knew I had a choice to either get swept away in the surge of adrenaline or to shift. I chose to shift by going non-verbal and doing some fake laughing and Tom joined me. Our fake laughter soon turned into real laughter, and my adrenaline turned into endorphins.

Another example: when Tom and I are aware of a power struggle happening between us, we shift into play mode by ‘assuming the position’ – we stand facing each other, and put our chests together and then…we push as hard as we can trying to push the other across the room. We break up laughing and we break the power struggle.

Play and laughter loosen and free us from our rigid positions, which helps us see things more clearly and allows us to find creative solutions. If you want to decrease stress, increase pleasure, and promote bonding with others, lace your day with laughter. It’s a fun, natural high and a healing medicine. As the saying goes, “He who laughs lasts.”

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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Sep 24 2009

Cosmic Joke – Issue #27

“Blessed our we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.” Last Saturday I saw Swami Beyondananda, the Cosmic Comic, in person, and he told us, “Imagine that the creator is watching the comedy channel, and We are what’s on.” Laughter is a wonderful thing. It is healing and heart opening, it lowers our blood pressure and raises our spirits. Like some of you, I was brought up in a family where feelings of anger, fear and sadness were not welcomed.  However, those feelings found an outlet through the one and only accepted form of expression in my house…laughter. As a result, I developed a sharp wit and became…a serial kidder!

Voltaire said, “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.” The world can be an intense place, and it is easy to get seriously caught up in the drama of our lives. There’s a story about a woman who had a recurring dream where a monster was chasing her and she would frantically run away from it, in a state of absolute terror.  One night she was barely managing to stay ahead of the monster, when BAM!  She hits a wall and there was nowhere to go. The monster caught up to her and the woman cried out, “Oh no, what am I going to do?!” The monster looked at her and said, “I don’t know lady, it’s YOUR dream.” 

Our life is OUR dream. As our consciousness is evolving, more and more people are waking up to the awareness that we are all interconnected, and life is a one big mirror, reflecting back to us our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. God is now playing to an audience that’s beginning to get the joke!  It’s a Mirror-cle!

I’ve been amusing myself with this thought — what if we get to heaven and there’s a letter from God that says:

“Welcome Dear One,

I’m glad you made it! So, did you get the cosmic joke?  Did you figure out that everyone in your life was YOU, especially those who pushed your buttons?  When you tried to convince the critical people in your life of your value, that was the critical You that you were trying to convince.  When you thought that people in your life were judging, rejecting, or neglecting you, that was You doing that to you. Everyone in your life was mirroring you. Every time you thought you got rid of an irritating person from your life, they’d just show up again in another body, because that was You you were trying to escape, and wherever you go, there You are.

There were lots of clues about the many you’s, such as your term for your world — Universe, get it?…YOUniverse. There were also clues in the Bible, like, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Because they ARE you); and from the Talmud, “We do not see things as they are, we see them as WE are”.  The whole dream thing was a big clue too, where everyone in your dream is an aspect of yourself. Just like in a dream, everyone in your life is an aspect of You.

Did you figure out that the best way to deal with this cosmic joke was first to lighten up and have a sense of YOUmor? Then FACE the you’s that were showing up in your life, in the form of other people, and get curious, “Oh, you’re my mirror.  What is it I haven’t wanted to see?”  Then be WILLING to really see what the YOUniverse is reflecting back to you, take a big breath and let it in, accept it.  And then, here’s the really funny part…LOVE what it is that you’re seeing. Love what it is in others that you’ve been judging and rejecting. Love what it is you’ve been trying to get rid of and get away from. That’s when you become One with the YOUniverse. Love is the great YOUnifier.

Life is a funny, funny riddle. LOVE is the answer.  I hope you had fun with it all.”


God (who, by the way, is also YOU)

How about You? Is there something serious in Your life that you need to laugh at? As Swami Beyondananda says, “Laughter causes our blood vessels to dilate, which is a lot better than having them die early!” Here’s to learning, laughing, and loving what is!

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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