Tag Archive 'Ho’oponopono'

May 27 2014

An Odyssey from Resentment to Forgiveness – #109

Resentment is like quicksand…it really sucks! It pulls us in and holds us down, and we become stuck in our own self-imposed suffering. Forgiveness offers freedom from that suffering, but getting to forgiveness can sometimes feel like an arduous odyssey. Our defensive egos hang onto wrongs with the ferocity of a dragon guarding a great treasure! What is the treasure? The righteous victim position that proclaims, “I am right and I am wronged!”

It’s a challenge to relinquish that bitter prize for the better prize of freedom from suffering, happiness, and peace. We can be right, or we can let it go and be free. That’s a toughie because our ego really wants to be right (I know mine does)! Our mind keeps rehashing its case over and over again in an endless tape loop until we feel kinda loopy!

I recently had a conflict with a friend and was stewing in resentment for a while. Fortunately, I was highly motivated to restore peace, not only because it feels better, but also for health reasons. I know that holding onto resentment is toxic; it stresses the body, suppresses the immune system, and creates acidity, which is a breeding ground for cancer and other illnesses. As someone on a precarious cancer journey, I need to forgive as if my life depended on it, because maybe it does.

I’d like to share with you the following powerful practices that helped me on my odyssey from resentment to forgiveness:

INTENTION – Intention is a powerful tool for transformation. My ego hangs on to being right and feeling wronged with the tenacity of a pit bull, but my Big Soul Self is intent on harnessing that dogged determination and redirecting it toward letting go, choosing peace, and being happy. Whenever I’m aware of my mind chewing on a bone of contention, that’s my cue to take deep slow breaths and affirm, “I choose being happy over being right.”

PROJECTION – When we judge others it’s usually because they’re reflecting something about ourselves that we haven’t owned and loved. In other words, if you spot it in someone else and judge it, then you got it. Here’s what I wrote about projection in a poem: “Mirrors, mirrors all around, reflections of myself abound, what most needs to be loved is found in what I judge in you.” A good question to ask when I find myself judging someone: “How am I like that? How do I do what I’m accusing them of doing?”

IT ISN’T PERSONAL – It’s a great waker upper to remind ourselves: “It isn’t personal. It’s just my preprogrammed ego defenses butting up against their preprogrammed ego defenses, doing what ego defenses do.” I like what Terry Cole Whitaker wrote about that, “What you think of me is none of my business.”

EMPATHY – The fine art of empathy is when we put ourselves in the other persons place and imagine how they might be feeling and what might be motivating their position. When I see that they’re reacting from an old wound, as am I, we can connect on that common ground and empathize with each other

HO’OPONOPONO – “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” That’s the ancient Hawaiian forgiveness prayer called Ho’oponopono. Whenever negative, blaming mind chatter takes over, I keep repeating this prayer until peace prevails. I’ve added some of my own words that have been helpful for me: “I’m sorry. It isn’t personal. It’s just my ego defenses. Please forgive me. Thank you. You know I love you and I know you love me.” I imagine myself saying it to the other person. Then I imagine them saying it to me.

SURRENDER TO A HIGHER POWER – In my conflict with my friend I was feeling exasperated with my minds entanglement in its relentless tape loop of righteously wronged reasoning. Then, as divine synchronicity would have it, I saw a Youtube video of a dolphin entangled in fishing line. An deep sea diver beckoned the dolphin over and the dolphin came to him, trusting him. The diver compassionately worked on him for a few minutes and finally freed him from the fishing line. I imagined myself like the dolphin, surrendering, trusting, being open to comfort and help, feeling a loving presence helping me free my mind from its entanglement. This helped shift me into a peaceful place.

Revenge is sweet and I have a sweet tooth…but forgiveness is sweeter and leaves no bitter aftertaste. Ultimately, I know that one of the most important healings for me in this lifetime is healing resentment and learning to let go and forgive. I am pleased to say I am making progress!

How about you? Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? I highly recommend it – it’s much more peaceful living in an open heart than a closed mind.

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen


I’ve created brief sayings called Enlighten-Inklings, which are verbal nuggets of love, laughter, and learning gathered from my previous and current writings, placed on my watercolor backgrounds. I’m sending out one a day, Monday through Friday via e-mail (free). If you’d like to be put on the list to receive them, email me at enlightenink@gmail.com. To view archived sayings go here EnlightenInk.com and click on Enlighten-Inklings at the top.

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Feb 11 2014

Put On Your Big Soul Panties – Issue #107

When I’m upset about something and feel challenged, a higher voice within lovingly says, “Put on your Big Soul panties and deal with it.” Putting on my Big Soul panties means shifting out of the limited view of my little ego self into the expansive perspective of my Big Soul Self, seeing the higher purpose in whatever’s happening, trusting that I’m right where I’m supposed to be and everything is happening for my learning and growth. It means choosing love over hate, faith over fear, and forgiveness over resentment.

The beautiful part is, every time I’ve been challenged and chose to put on my Big Soul panties, there have been amazing outcomes! I believe that when we’re aligned with our highest self, we enter a state of grace where everything we need comes to us and things work out better than we could ever imagine.

A dear friend of mine shared her recent inspiring Big Soul triumph. She and her husband are separating after many years of marriage and they were having a rough time with hurt feelings on both sides. But they chose to shift into their Big Soul Selves and created a healing ritual in which they sat facing each other, with a thin rope tied around them, and for several minutes they looked into each other’s eyes saying the Ho’oponopono forgiveness prayer: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” They kept repeating those words for eight minutes as waves of tears filled their eyes. At the end of that time they both had scissors and cut the rope that bound them and they hugged lightly. Peace and harmony ensued.

We’re all faced with life challenges and we have the choice to dwell in the hell of the Heartbreak Hotel or to dwell in love and healing. Here are the three most significant Big Soul triumphs from my life:

1. THE CHALLENGE: I was a depressed, suicidal teenager, immersed in the belief that I was unloved and unlovable and doomed to a wretched lonely life. I fantasized about suicide the way other girls my age fantasized about boys.

PUTTING ON MY BIG SOUL PANTIES: During that time I prayed for help, and found a book called Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life, which said that our thoughts and beliefs create our reality – we can literally hypnotize ourselves into or out of anything. That electrified me! I could see how my negative thoughts were creating a negative reality and I knew that if I changed my thoughts I could change my life! I was inspired to take on the challenge of transforming my unfriendly world into a friendly one.

THE OUTCOME: My life was ignited with a purpose and passion to learn and grow and heal. My brother reached out to me, inviting me to come to California. I’d once thought my life was over, but now this caterpillar turned into a butterfly and flew across the country from Mystic, Connecticut to beautiful Santa Barbara, California, my new home and a whole new exciting life filled with infinite possibilities!

2. THE CHALLENGE: During my dating days I found myself in relationships with men who were afraid of intimacy and couldn’t commit. I would put on my pity party panties and call my gal pals and we’d commiserate in ‘ain’t it awful’ stories about unavailable men.

PUTTING ON MY BIG SOUL PANTIES: It finally dawned on me that I was the one who picked these unavailable men – I was the common denominator in all my failed relationships. And then it struck me…I was afraid of intimacy! I was afraid of commitment! I picked guys who were unavailable because I was unavailable and protecting my heart at any cost. I’ve heard that the result will always show you your strongest intention – obviously mine was to be alone, because that was the result. I was comfortable being alone. I was safe. I could see now that though these men were not my soul mates, they could be my heal-my-soul mates, mirroring what was unhealed in me so that I could see it and heal it. With my Big Soul panties firmly in place, I was determined to heal my fear of intimacy.

THE OUTCOME: I healed my fear of intimacy! And I found true love! My husband and I have been enjoying a deeply intimate and happy relationship for nearly 15 years! Sometimes we get our panties in a bunch, but then we put on our Big Soul panties (or pants in the case of my hubby) and deal with it, and soon we are once again loving, laughing, and learning in our Big Soul playground.

3. THE CHALLENGE: Four years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. My first reaction was, “Oh crap!” I indulged in a fine whine, “Why me? I’m a vegetarian!”

PUTTING ON MY BIG SOUL PANTIES: I eventually realized it was a major wake-up call, prompting me to examine how I was out of balance, blocked, stagnant, and not fulfilling my higher purpose. I recommitted to living the best life possible, and made holistic lifestyle changes in body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

THE OUTCOME: Cancer was the kick in the panties I needed to raise my game. I’m now catapulted into the present moment, savoring life and loved ones, making healthy choices, and living a purposeful life. These four years since my diagnosis have been the richest years of my life. I am vividly, passionately alive! That is a great outcome!

From the Big Soul perspective, what’s coming up in our lives is coming up to be healed. While my little self moans, “Oh no, not another growth opportunity!”, my big Self exclaims, “Oh yeah, another chance to learn and  grow and heal!” It takes a concerted effort and commitment to shift out of the sticky addictive lower energies of victimhood, resentment, and fear, into the higher energies of love, faith, and forgiveness. But when I do, miracles and magic happens, and I celebrate by doing the happy dance in my resplendent Big Soul panties!

How about you? Are you being challenged right now? Are your panties in a bunch about something? If so, it may be a good time to put on your Big Soul panties and deal with it, and be open to everything working out better than your wildest dreams!

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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Mar 03 2011

How to Be Really, Truly, Deeply Free & Clear – Issue #68

Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Our natural state is love, health and wholeness. With cancer cells possibly still remaining in my body (according to my recent PET scan), I am on a full-scale mission to clear, clean and purify myself physically and emotionally, removing the barriers that keep me from love, health and wholeness.

Physically I have been doing a healing regimen that deeply cleans and clears my body (described in my previous newsletter). I am also doing deep cleaning on an emotional level and I want to share with you three powerful tools I’ve combined for optimal inner cleansing. One is called Ho’oponopono, an ancient Hawaiian healing tradition (ho’o means cause and ponopono means perfection). It’s modern form is taught by Dr. Hew Len, who is famous for having healed an entire ward of criminally insane people at Hawaii State Hospital in the 1980’s, without therapy, by simply doing Ho’oponopono on himself.

Its basic premise is that everything in our life is a projection – just like in a dream, it is all an aspect of ourselves. Whatever shows up in our life is our memories and old programming replaying ‘out there’, showing us where we are blocked from our true divine self. The way to clear these programs and return to our pure essence state is to say these words over and over until we are clear, “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.”

Conflict “out there” is cleared “in here”, and once clear we are one with the Divine. The beauty part is that in that clear, higher vibrational state we attract miracles. That state can be maintained by repeatedly saying to ourselves throughout the day, “I love you” and “Thank you”. Doing this on a daily basis aligns us with a state of grace place where life unfolds easefully and magically. That’s where I want to live!

I have found that doing EFT while doing Ho’oponopono makes it even more powerful. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, an extremely effective healing method that involves tapping on specific meridian points to clear negative beliefs, feelings and programs from our body and bring in new desired beliefs (see P.S. below for more info).  When you add to that some deep, slow breaths with long out-breaths, it further clears away the charge, since our reactive programming is locked in by shallow breaths and is set free by deep, full breaths.

I recently had an opportunity to put these three clearing superpowers to the test. I was having a conflict with someone in my life that set my two inner chickens to fighting. One chicken, Chicken Little, felt victimized, with feathers ruffled, lots of plaintive squawking, and she wanted to fly the coop. The other chicken, my glorious Warrioress Chicken Supreme, wanted to fly with the eagles and thus kept bringing me back to the awareness, “If it’s in your life, it’s in you. Now is an opportunity to clear, clean, and heal this inside yourself.”

While one part of me was having a furious uprising, the other was having a spiritual “upwising” (as Swamibeyondanonda would say). As I witnessed myself preparing for a defensive battle, I thought, “Since it’s my creation, why not prepare for peace?” This was a new thought for me – instead of imagining a battle ahead, I could imagine peace.

Realizing the other person was mirroring a wounded part of myself, I loved that wounded part in me. Whenever I felt the furious wet-hen uprising within, I’d repeat the words, “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.”  I added the meridian tapping and deep, slow breaths and the result was a peaceful resolution of the conflict. It proves the saying, “My how you’ve changed since I’ve changed.” When I shift inside, my world shifts outside. I can choose love and peace, and clear whatever gets in the way of that with Ho’oponopono, meridian tapping, and deep slow breaths.

There’s a wonderful story about Nelson Mandela (as told in the book Buddha’s Brain) who was imprisoned for 27 years. His greatest despair was that he would lose contact with loved ones, as he was only allowed to receive letters from them about every 6 months. He didn’t want to live without love so he decided he was going to bring love to the guards. By loving them it was hard for them to treat him harshly, therefore guards were frequently replaced; but he would simply love the new ones too. Despite the harsh barriers of prison and hard labor, he chose to focus on love and that is what he experienced. Though he was in prison he was FREE of hatred and anger.

These three tools, Ho’oponopono, tapping, and deep slow breaths, help to release old programming and clear away the barriers to love, healing and wholeness. This results in miracles and major life shifts. Toward that end, I am doing the Ho’oponopono with my body and the cancer, tapping and breathing, and saying, “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” As I continue to do this healing work I’m hoping that down the road the results of my next PET scan will declare, “You are clean! You are free of cancer!”

Maybe even more important to me would be if one day I were able to declare that I am emotionally “free of charge”, having successfully cleared away all my hot buttons. That is the ultimate freedom – what a monumental accomplishment that would be! Then I would be easefully, peacefully residing in the state of grace place, in the Divine, in the field “out beyond right doing and wrong doing” that Rumi talks about. At the end of my life I want my epitaph to read, “Really, truly, deeply free at last!”

How about you? Do you have barriers within that are keeping you from love, health and wholeness? It’s all an inside job – LOVE, TAP and BREATHE your way through those barriers and celebrate becoming free and clear and open to miracles!

In love,

Jan Jacobsen


Free EFT e-book


Page 12-15 shows where to tap and describes the process

UsingEFT and Ho’oponopono together video


Great book on Ho’oponopono

Zero Limits – The Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace & More

By Joe Vitale and Dr. Hew Len


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