Apr 03 2011
I was deeply impressed years ago by a story actress Shirley Maclaine told about her father, a gruff, curmudgeonly old man, who was on his deathbed. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, back and forth between this world and the next, when suddenly he woke up, his eyes opened wide, and in a eureka moment he exclaimed, “I get it – it’s about love! It’s all about love!”
I get it too now. It’s one of the most rousing wake-up calls I’ve received from my cancer adventure. I am galvanized to use what time I have left in this earth suit to learn to love more, to open my heart, loving all my unloved body parts, loving my unloved feelings, loving this precious moment, loving others, loving life – I have woken up to the realization that it’s all about love!
Love is a powerful energy. In the book Healing with Love, Dr. Leonard Laskow, writes about experiments where he focused love on cancer cells in a petri dish, holding the intention that they return to a natural state of harmony. Within days the cancer cells actually decreased! I believe that the energy of love raises our vibration and all that is not love falls away.
I am therefore very motivated to actively cultivate the healing energy of love. Ever since my Big C journey began, I have been doing a practice when I wake up in the morning of imagining love flowing into my head from above, down to my heart and from my heart down my arms into my hands. I place my hands over my wounded lower region for several minutes while love flows through my hands into that area of my body. That could be one of the reasons I’m healing. I know that my whole being relaxes and feels uplifted when I do that.
Tom Kenyon recently wrote about doing a similar exercise as a way we can protect ourselves from radiation poisoning – hold a glass of water between our two hands and receive love from above our heads flowing down into our hearts, then send it down our arms into our hands, infusing the glass of water with love. The water is blessed with this higher vibration and as we drink it we become safe from toxins and radiation.
The Institute of HeartMath offers another simple formula for cultivating the energy of love and harmony in ourselves:
First, focus on your heart.
Then breathe through your heart.
Next imagine someone or something that evokes the feeling of love in you.
I put this formula to the test recently when I was having trouble falling asleep. I started to focus on my heart, breathing through my heart, imagining warm pink shimmering light in my heart, and feeling love and gratitude for Tom lying beside me. My monkey mind settled down and sweet sleep finally came! I do that every night now. I fall asleep in love.
We don’t have to have a partner to focus our love on. We can love anything, and the energy of love will be activated. Nearly every day I go on “I love” walks. As I walk, I love the yellow flowers, I love the mountains, I love the blue sky, I love the little scurrying lizards. Some days I need to love myself for not feeling very loving – I love my curmudgeon self. Love is love, it doesn’t matter what we love; all that matters is that we love.
Dis-ease and challenges can be a great form of resistance training for building our love muscles. Last October when I was feeling lousy from the effects of chemo and radiation and thought my days were numbered, to my surprise I decided to join a woman’s group. I’ve never been a ‘group’ person. I have wonderful, loving one-on-one relationships, but being in a group rattles my defenses about criticism and feeling controlled. It reactivates old family dynamics — my rebel imagines opposition and braces for a struggle, and therefore, that’s exactly what I create. I wondered, “What the heck am I doing in a woman’s group?”
Now I get it – it’s about love! My trouper soul says, “Oh goody – let’s use being in this group as a probe to bring up our ‘stuff’ so that we can exercise the act of choosing love. Let’s learn and grow as much as we can while we can.” (I love my trouper soul!) In my group I’m learning to shift my focus from my head, where the battle is taking place, to my heart, where peace and love prevail. As each woman speaks, I imagine a line of light from my heart to hers. When my critical mind starts to take over again, I shift my focus back to my heart. I end up feeling all warm and fuzzy, floating in a sea of oxytocin (our inner love potion). Through this filter of love I see the beauty of each woman, including myself, and I experience loving kindness from and towards these women.
I love sending out this newsletter but sometimes it brings up my fears of criticism, rejection and the fear of making a mistake. Several newsletters ago I did make a mistake – I forgot to do the blind copy for the e-mail addresses and sent it out with all of them exposed. I cringed. “Dang! I can’t believe I did that!” Then I remembered, “It’s about love. This is an opportunity to reprogram this fear and choose love. Instead of imagining criticism and rejection, I can imagine love.” I visualized the e-mail list forming the shape of a heart, and I sent love to the list as a whole, to all of you, and imagined love coming back from you, imagining lines of light from my heart to yours and yours to mine. I do that each time now when I send out a new newsletter. It’s all part of my training to love and feel loved.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It has been a difficult few weeks for me and for many people that I know. I think the disaster in Japan has unsettled people, triggering pain and stirring old internal debris. Many people are having their own personal inner earthquakes, tsunamis and meltdowns. I know that’s true for me. The other day there was an exquisite sunset and my friend Joy said, “Look, it’s an angel.” Contrasted vividly against the aqua blue sky was a large, bright, coral pink cloud that looked like an angel looking down on us. This was a beautiful, timely reminder to me that we are loved and watched over.
I heard Doreen Virtue speak recently about the angels. She said they told her that we have free will and therefore we have to ask them for help, otherwise they can’t help us. I remember how years ago I was having a dark night of the soul and prayed for help and just then a greeting card floated down from the shelf to the floor! I picked it up and it read, “You are so loved.” I get it now. I get that I am loved. I get that when I ask for help it comes. I finally get that it’s ALL about love!
I am building my home in love. It is the energy I want to cultivate and live in. I used to live in fear and visit love, but now, more and more, I live in love and occasionally visit fear. Love is becoming my home base…though I can always count on resistance training to present itself so that I can keep strengthening my love muscles. Sometimes it takes calamities and discord to wake us up to love. But it doesn’t have to…love is a moment-to-moment choice. Right now, I choose love.
How about you? Are you choosing love in this moment? It is our true home – home is where the heart is.