Apr 15 2009
My path-ology report came back and showed that my nodes were clear. However, the cancer was more aggressive than they first thought and it had penetrated into two thirds of the uterine wall (making it Stage 1C, Grade 3). The doctor said there is a 25% risk of recurrence. I asked him,”Since I don’t have a uterus anymore, where would the cancer go?” He said, “Anywhere.”
That scared me; an image came to mind of marauding terrorist cells that had eluded the doctor’s scalpel and were cunningly roaming my body, looking for a place to set up camp and wreak more havoc.
Then I quickly reframed that. I can see how the increased risk is perfect – it keeps me awake, on my toes, bright eyed, bushy tailed, and motivated to continue with the healing life changes I have made: the vibrant diet, daily meditation, deep breathing, and enjoying my moment-to-moment game of TAG – Trust, Acceptance, and Gratitude. (TAG, I’m it – I choose what I want to focus on and generate.)
I am aware that words and images shape and color our world, they mold it like play doh. “Words cast spells, that’s why they call it spelling.” How we think of things and picture them creates a cellular response in our bodies. It is self-hypnosis. When hypnotized, our body can raise a blister if we’re touched with an ice cube and told that it’s a blazing hot coal.
Our thoughts can create heaven or hell, depending on where we’re choosing to dwell. These thoughts create feelings of well-being, or of being stuck in a well. They also create chemicals in our body, such as feel-good endorphins, or the stress hormone cortisol. We literally are walking laboratories, and our thoughts are the chemists.
Words and images also impact our immune system and ability to heal. A friend of Tom’s told him that she had cancer a few years ago and was in two cancer support groups. There were people in the groups who had an attitude of being at war and battling their cancer. Other people had an attitude of wanting to learn and grow and explore what their cancer brought up for them. In her experience, those were the people who tended to survive, while the ones who were at war did not.
Someone told me that they don’t use the word cancer, instead they call it aberrant cells. I’ve been playing with other names like waker uppers, I openers, shadows, fungi (some people believe that cancer is a fungus). How about fun guy? There’s a woman who calls hers crazy, sexy cancer (and wrote a book with that title).
My Cancer experience has opened my eyes big time in so many ways – therefore, I have decided to call it The Big See! I See the world with new eyes, big bright baby eyes. I See that I have more courage than I thought. I See the love of friends and family. I See that my life is purposeful and things happen for a reason. I See that life is finite and spirit is infinite. I See that it’s all about love.
I invite all of you as you go through your day today to eavesdrop on yourselves. What thoughts are you dwelling on? What chemicals are you cooking up in your body lab? What is ready to be reframed and renamed in your life?
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