Apr 01 2009
The View from My Hospital Bed
It is midnight.
I am inwardly moaning and complaining about
the moaning, complaining woman next to me
who is keeping me awake.
I want to feel compassion.
And…I want to throttle her.
I ask the nurse, “Is there a quieter room?”
“No.”
There is no escape.
How perfect – I am reading the book, “The Wisdom of No Escape”
about compassion and surrendering to what is.
I surrender.
I cry.
My roomie and I cry together.
I ask about her and she tells me her story.
Her daughter died 4 months ago, which shattered her heart.
Ten days ago she crashed her car into a tree, which shattered her body.
“I am in so much pain,” she cries.
I want to hug her.
I want to hold her hand.
How perfect that she is my roommate.
She is reminding me about compassion.
I fall asleep sending her love on my out breaths.
This morning I watched the sun rise
over the mountains.
How wonderful to have this view
from my hospital bed.
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Jan Jacobsen has been on a 35-year learning journey. She has completed a 2-year training in Hakomi, a mind/body approach which advocates that healing happens when we bring loving presence to what is. She has also apprenticed for two years with Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks (authors of Conscious Loving), learning skills to make love real and fun. Her thriving relationship with her husband Tom is a testament to the effectiveness and value of those skills.
