Archive for May, 2013

May 29 2013

A Little Bit of Danger, A Whole Lot of Aliveness – Issue #102

I just received my latest cancer test results. They show that I’m still in the ‘faintly positive’ range. That means I still have a little bit of cancer in me.  A part of me would love to be declared ‘cancer free’ so that I can completely relax about it. But another part of me, my Big Soul Self, LIKES that I still have a little bit of cancer!

It is the kick in the can(cer) that’s keeping me awake, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and motivated to savor this sweet life. Every day I have two small squares of rich, creamy, high quality dark chocolate (sweetened with a healthy sweetener). I let each bite slowly, sensually melt in my mouth and try to make it last as long as I can. I’m savoring my life in that same way: feasting my eyes on Tom’s sweet face, luxuriating in my time with him and loved ones, not taking anyone or anything for granted.

I’ve heard of people who’ve had a near-death experience that ignited in them a more vivid sense of joy and appreciation of life. Yet as time goes by, for many of them, that vivid aliveness begins to fade. Mine is not fading – that little bit of cancer is keeping me wide awake! How perfect is that?!

When I view this as the perfect design of my soul, it helps me relax into it, trusting that higher forces are at work here. That feels so much better than thinking that I’ve screwed up somehow, that I’m doomed, that I’m just unlucky.

My soul is in charge. I’m right where I’m supposed to be. That’s the story I’m telling myself, and I know that the story we tell ourselves has a powerful impact on our bodies and beings. Einstein said: “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”

That decision affects us on a physical level; when we trust the universe, it helps us relax, which enhances our life AND our immune system. Fearing and distrusting the universe stresses us, and suppresses our immune system. Therefore, relaxing about having cancer can help heal it! And the only way I can relax about cancer is by trusting that it is all perfectly part of the grand plan of my higher self.

In addition, when I perceive my cancer as a soul-generated growth opportunity, I am filled with awe and respect for the courage of my Powerful, Wow-erful Big Soul Self! I ask myself, “Who ARE you!?” I always thought I was the world’s biggest fraidy cat, but I’ve discovered that the soul that I am is a rip-roaring, bad-ass Lionness! One day when I was appreciating the perfection of it all, my Lionness enthusiastically exclaimed to Tom: “I’m so happy to have cancer!” That spontaneous declaration surprised us BOTH!

With this little bit of cancer I have no physical pain, and, to be sure, if I were suffering with pain or chemo and radiation (like I did 3 years ago) I would not be such a happy cancer camper. (I’m not a fan of physical suffering – saint I ain’t!)

But right here, right now, I am alive and thriving. And, no matter how much time I have, I know that, just like with chocolate, it’s the quality that counts, not the quantity.

Are you having challenges in your life? How is it perfect? How is it all part of the grand plan of your courageous, magnificent Big Soul Self?

In Love,

Janet Jacobsen

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May 07 2013

I’m Still Here! Issue #101

It’s hard to believe it was 3 years ago this month that I began chemo and radiation treatment for recurrent uterine cancer. After completing the 6 weeks of daily radiation and weekly chemotherapy, the doctor gave me a poor prognosis, but…I’M STILL HERE! Alive and kicking! Feeling pretty darn good! Back then I didn’t know if I should make my 6 months dental cleaning appointment, or buy new clothes or green bananas. Now I have a closet full of new clothes, a mouth full of clean teeth, and a kitchen full of green bananas.

My favorite quote is: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.” We never know what’s going to happen. Things can seem bleak but somehow turn out better than we can imagine. What looked like the end of the world to me was the beginning of a more vibrant, purposeful life.

In the four years since I was first diagnosed, I have nestled more fully into the present moment. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know what the present holds: it holds ME, in a cushy, cozy, comforting embrace. I’m all right right now and right now is all there is. Admittedly, there are times when I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, but most of the time I’m kicking up my heels doing the happy dance and enjoying life. It’s all gravy. Some days I don’t even think about cancer at all.

One thing I’m doing the happy dance about is writing. Even though my newsletters have been fewer and farther between, I’m still writing, but in a different form. If you’re on Facebook you may have seen my daily posting of my sayings with my watercolor backgrounds (one saying per day). I feel like a child at play with colorful words and it is deeply satisfying that these words may be of service to someone.

I used to live a block away from Ashleigh Brilliant, the epigram author, and I’d see him walking around the ‘hood deep in thought contemplating new epigram sayings. I thought, “What a great life that must be!” Now I’m doing it! And it IS a great life! (I love how seeds planted long ago have a way of sprouting up unexpectedly years later.)

An added bonus for me is that sending these writings out into the world sometimes triggers my “Who do you think you are” critic; this is perfect because I get to do some inner healing work around that. Oh boy, another growth opportunity! I remember a cartoon where Dennis the Menace is being punished, sitting in the corner facing the wall, and the caption reads, “I’m Dennis, that’s who I am, that’s what I should have said!” When my critic scolds, “Who do you think you are”, my soul chimes in, “Who do you KNOW you are?” I am a soul at play, learning and growing and sharing what I’m learning with others, having great fun one day at a time.

So, if things are looking gloomy and life is giving you a poor prognosis, hang in there! I am living proof that shift happens, even better than we can imagine!

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

P.S.

If anyone would like to receive my sayings, you can reply to this email with “Yes” in the subject line (or email me at enlightenink@gmail.com) and I’ll put you on the list. I’m calling these brief sayings Enlighten-Inklings. They will be sent via email Monday thru Friday,

Or you can see them at my website on the Enlighten-Inklings page.

Or if you’re on Facebook you can check them out there. If you’re not already a FB friend, you can find me under Janet Lee Jacobsen. You can access all the sayings I’ve posted so far by going to my FB page, click on Photos, then click Albums, then click Timeline Photos.  And I’d love it if you ‘friend’ me :o )

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