Oct 09 2011
In my first newsletter I asked the question, “What wants to be born into my life?” Now, two-and-a-half years later I have my answer – I have been reborn into a new life, a new way of being, a higher version of myself. I can see now that I had so many fears jamming me up, creating a stagnation that kept me from fully stretching into this life. Cancer was the chaos that stirred my stagnation into the birth of a more vibrant aliveness. As Bob Dylan sang, “He not busy being born, is busy dying.” I’m now busy being born!
For me, cancer instigated a total cleanse of my body, emotions, and spirit, removing toxins, blocks, and beliefs, allowing life to flow through me more fully. I have come more into harmony with myself and now appreciate every part of my body…and I mean EVERY part. I never thought I’d be applauding voluminous bowel movements, but I am! They are so beautiful to me! They let me know that the obstruction that was there before hasn’t grown back! All systems are clear and flowing!
I’m seeing that illness can be a rousing call to wholeness and more vibrancy. What seems like chaos and disaster is actually all part of a innate intelligence and drive towards greater creativity and a higher order of being. This is beautifully illustrated in Cymatics, the study of sound and vibration in which the surface of a plate is vibrated and a thin layer of particles on the plate resonate with the vibration, eventually forming a cohesive pattern. As the frequency rises, chaos ensues — the particles go haywire, into total disarray! Then, at a certain point the particles spontaneously reorganize once again, forming an even more intricate, symmetrical, interconnected, mandala-like pattern. This process repeats itself each time the frequency increases — disintegration is followed by re-integration and a higher order of harmony and coherence.
I believe this same process happens in illness and other life challenges — chaos is a purposeful response to stagnation and a prelude to a higher state of being. However, the success of this transition depends on how we perceive these challenges; when upheavals happen it can either seem like the death of us, or an opportunity to grow and raise our game to a higher level. Once I see that chaos is just an ‘obstacle illusion’, I stop kicking and screaming and resisting, and I come into harmony with this process of rebirth. I can then ride the spiral of my personal growth upwards saying, “Oh boy, another growth opportunity!”
To determine our physical health, a doctor checks our vital signs. What I’ve learned is to determine my emotional and spiritual health by checking my vitality signs: am I fully engaged and living a creative life, facing and integrating shadows, fulfilling my life purpose? If so, I don’t need to create chaos. But if chaos comes again, I will stay with it, learn from it, and ride it out, knowing that it is all part of elevating my life to a higher level of being. Nietzsche said, “You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.” When stuck in stagnation we are stirred and steared onward and upward to become the stars that we truly are!
Is your life in chaos right now? Congratulations! Something magnificent is about to be born into form!