Archive for September, 2011

Sep 21 2011

Compassionate Witness On Board – #80

When I was in my early twenties, I read an article in Parade Magazine about Liza Minnelli, who had just emerged from rehab. Something she said in that article has stayed with me all these years. It was very simple, yet so vastly profound that it helped change my life forever. She said that she was developing a new relationship with herself and throughout the day would check in, asking, “How are you doing honey?”

That blew my mind! The thought that I could talk to myself that way opened up a whole new way of being with myself. I started checking in with myself and calling myself “honey’ and ‘sweetheart’.  Gradually, over time, the critical voice that was always beating me up became a loving voice. My chronic, internal judge was being replaced by my Compassionate Witness. This is an on-going process that continues to this day.

In my forties I fortified the voice of my Compassionate Witness by doing a two-year training in Hakomi, a healing, therapeutic approach that brings mindfulness, curiosity, and loving presence to whatever is present. Strengthening the energy of presence was building a mighty muscle that would carry me through tough times.

I flex that muscle now whenever I’m haunted by horror thoughts of possible cancer carnage…I take deep breaths and become very present. This invites in my Compassionate Witness, who says, “I know that you feel scared right now honey. Let yourself feel it.” I reassure myself that when and if that time comes, I will be present with what’s present, breathing into it, fully feeling and facing it, putting on my Big Soul panties and dealing with it. (And…if it gets too bad, LOTS of powerful, kick-ass painkillers…because saint I ain’t!)

I know that healing happens in the light of awareness. The glue that binds our painful patterns together is soluble in awareness, which is much like water: “Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water; yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible, nothing can surpass it.”(Lao Tzu)  Awareness is very potent stuff!

When I bring my Compassionate Witness to everything I think, do and feel, something astonishing happens…I gradually BECOME more the witness than the thing that I’m witnessing! Bringing all my shadows into the light, I become whole – welcoming every part of me to the party. My Compassionate Witness throws a great party! Every shadow, every guest who shows up (and they are quite a motley cast of characters!) is welcomed with open arms. Even the biggest shadow of them all…death.

Facing our death is something we’re all going to have to do eventually – it is the big fat elephant in the room. Buddha said, “Just as the elephant’s footprint is the biggest footprint on the jungle floor, death is the biggest teacher. Death or Yama Raja, death personified, drove me to the peace beyond birth and death.”

I want to be in that peace beyond birth and death; therefore, I’m intent on facing my fear of death, and death itself, and making friends with it. That way I am embracing it, rather than bracing against it. Leonard Cohen wrote, “If you don’t embrace the ocean you’ll be seasick every day.” When I come into harmony with all that floats and flounders about in my ocean, I am at peace.

What I resist persists; in that case, I’m hoping that now that I’m no longer resisting, maybe death won’t be persisting! Not any time soon anyway. Hopefully, I’ll have many more years to practice being fully present with my fears about the big “C” and the big “D” — bringing me more into union with the big ME, my true oceanic self!

Byron Katie said: “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it…it’s just easier if you do.” With the loving support of my Compassionate Witness, my greatest intention is to face whatever happens, and all my feelings about what happens, with an open mind, an open heart, and open arms.

Do you have a Compassionate Witness? There is no better traveling companion on life’s journey…it will help you get through ANYTHING!

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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Sep 15 2011

You Are the Boss of Your Reality – #79

“You are the boss of your own reality.” Those are the words in a handwritten letter sent to me years ago by Jane Roberts, who channeled the Seth books. I treasure that letter; but even more, I treasure that message. I am the boss of my own reality. I am creating and shaping the colorful play doh of my life with my feelings, beliefs, desires, expectations and actions. Some people call this “The Secret”…I call it “The Magic”. It is the great love of my life that has thrilled, excited and motivated me for many years. It is the life-changing paradigm shift from feeling like a hapless victim of circumstances to being an empowered creator of my life.

I was first introduced to this great love early in my life when I read, Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life by Donald Curtis. At that time I was a depressed teen who felt unlovable and feared I’d always be alone. But that book set off fireworks in me! I was thrilled to know that if I changed my beliefs, I could change my reality. That began a long journey that took me clear across the country and across time where I eventually married the man of my dreams in the very church where Donald Curtis had been the minister!

The power of belief is not a new concept – Jesus talked about it more than 2000 years ago, saying: “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” And, “I say to you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”

When I first met Tom, he lived in Minnesota and I lived in California. If the power of belief could move a mountain from here to there, surely it could move him from there to here! I got out my well-worn favorite Seth book, The Nature of Personal Reality, to help refresh and prime my manifesting skills…and, through passionate and dedicated application, I managed to MANifest this amazing man into my life! But I found that first, in order for that to happen I needed to ferret out the beliefs that were unconsciously manifesting my being alone.

Once I faced those beliefs it was time to replace them. Here is Seth’s magic formula that I faithfully followed: “For five minutes only, direct all of your attention toward what you want. Use visualization or verbal thought – whatever comes most naturally to you; but for that period do not concentrate upon any lacks, just upon your desire. In one way or another make one physical gesture or act that is in line with your belief or desire. Then forget about it.” Doing this every day builds the vibrational energy of what you’re wanting and magnetizes it to you.

My new relationship with Tom stirred up my pre-programmed emotional pain and defenses; but reading Seth’s book kept reminding me that my beliefs and programming were the source of my pain, not Tom. I would ride out the emotional storms, and always come home to owning it as mine. Seth wrote: “Any feeling fully felt and experienced will always bring you back to love.” It always did…the thunder was always followed by enlightening. As a result of my fierce tenacity to own that “I create my reality”, I was rewarded with great love and respect from Tom AND more importantly, from myself. I tell myself, “That’s why God is paying me the big buck (that would be Tom, my big buck)!”

Through the power of belief, imagination and strong desire, anything is possible, anything can be changed and healed…even cancer. There are many stories of people using the power of visualization to heal themselves of cancer. My friend, nutritionist Dale Figtree, described to me a compelling account of how she healed a tumor overnight: “I did a visualization of the cancer cells like black clumps of spiders on top of each other, inside a big volcano (so that they were contained.)  Then at the top of the volcano, surrounding, were hundreds of thousands of white blood cells as Knights in armor on white horses, carrying big lances.  With a clash of symbols, they rode down into the volcano and slashed and punctured every single cancer cell, which in turn evaporated until there was nothing but pink healthy cells and a clear blue sky above. I really got deeply into it. Afterwards, I felt a serenity, and my fear was gone.  I thought that was the gifting — until the next day when I went to be re-x-rayed — I was shocked to hear the tumor was gone!” (Dale writes more about how she cured herself of cancer in her book, Beyond Cancer Treatment.)

Now, once again I’m reading my Seth book to remind me that through the power of belief anything is possible. Every day for five minutes I visualize and feel my body filled with shimmering, healing light. I imagine myself full of vitality and energy. I picture myself in the future, healthy and vibrantly alive. I take action steps toward that end, which include eating healthy foods, taking herbs and supplements, exercising, and listening to meditation tapes that raise my vibration. Another action step I’m taking toward believing I’m healed and have a future ahead of me…I’m buying new clothes! This is the reality I’m choosing to focus on and manifest.

I can’t help but wonder sometimes if my fear of cancer was a focus that created it in me. That’s what the law of attraction would say. But if so, I reassure myself that I’m in good company. Many people on a spiritual path like I am, people who were living a health and spirit-oriented life, nonetheless got cancer. Including Wayne Dyer, who once wrote, “What you really, really want, you’ll get. And what you really, really don’t want, you’ll also get. What you are focused on in your mind is what you attract.” Larry Dossey, in his book Healing Words, presents a long list of saints who died of cancer, Krishnamurti among them. Even Jane Roberts, despite healing advice from Seth, died at the age of 55 from a crippling autoimmune disease.

On the ego level, this could seem like a failure. Yet, who knows what our souls are up to. I’m deeply aware of my souls passionate agenda to learn and grow and evolve my consciousness. My ego’s agenda is to have fun and avoid suffering. I believe that ultimately soul’s agenda trumps ego’s agenda. In my case, that’s the result anyway; and in accordance with the law of attraction, the result will ALWAYS show you your strongest intention. My soul wants to wake up as much as possible in this lifetime, and I am now awake much of the time. Therefore, cancer has been a means to that end, (instead of a mean end.)

Jane Roberts also wrote in her letter to me, “Love the dusk and the dawn. Be thankful for this life.” I am thankful for this life, and thankful for this wake-up call that has made my life richer and more vivid. I like the reality that I’ve created. (At least my SOUL does – my ego is sometimes not too crazy about it!)

How about you? Do you like the reality you’ve created? If not, you can change it. You are the boss of your own reality!

“You are given the gift of the gods; you create your reality according to your beliefs; yours is the creative energy that makes your world; there are no limitations to the self except those you believe in.” –Seth

In Love,

Jan Jacobsen

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